Being A Grown Up Is Scary

2 Jan

I just got back to Texas after an extended trip to Wisconsin, where I was coddled and cared for like a 5 year old, and I’m having trouble re-adjusting to normal adult life.

I took today, Weds, off, so I could get myself back into the swing of things and be refreshed and ready to go. Fail. I seriously didn’t get out of bed until 5 pm, and the most I accomplished all day was paying some bills. Oh, and getting the mail. I did do that. But for the most part, the cats and I slept and basically checked out of reality for the vast majority of the day.

I’m finding it harder and harder to not be terrified of being a grown up. For someone who spent their entire childhood wishing she was an adult, I’m shockingly bad at it. I’m almost 28 years old, and yet the thought of going to my office and sitting at my desk tomorrow is so overpoweringly unpleasant, I had to crawl back into bed and write about it instead of mentally prepping myself for what’s to come.

This is the age I thought I would be when I had my shit together, and yet so far, I could not possibly have it together less. I am being held together by packing tape, string, and a single binder clip, I swear.

It’s obviously time to start making some changes, but I’ve never been one to take a risk, so I guess I’ll continue waiting for a sign or something. Maybe a flowerpot somewhere is waiting to fall on my head and wake me up.

Happy 2013, y’all – I hope yours started out a little better than mine. Nothing like introspection and a healthy dose of whining to start the new year off on the right foot…. as usual, I seem to have stubbed a toe on that “right foot.” How about you?


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