You Aren’t Alone

3 Aug

More than anything, I hope you all know that I understand how lucky I am.

Five years ago (or more?!) a tiny grey and white kitten plopped her way into my life and my heart, and saved me. She saved me. I can’t explain it any other way. She prevented a suicide, because she needed me.

Since then, I’ve adopted another kitten (FALSE – he adopted me), I moved from a relationship, to living on my own for the first time, to living on my own 1200 miles away from my parents.

Some days, my friends think I am the craziest girl on earth. They love my fat, lazy cats… but they don’t GET them.

My best friends can wrap their minds around it. It may not make perfect sense, but they see my four legged friends, and they feel something. I may be a crazy cat lady, but somewhere along the line, those cats meant something.

Listen, I don’t claim that I can spot depression a million miles away. Sometimes I have a hard time looking past myself.

But tonight I realized that maybe that tiny grey and white cat, and her obnoxious black and white adopted brother saved me from something more than myself.  Maybe, they pushed me in the path of people I could help… to remind they weren’t alone, to hold on to in the middle of the night… to remind this beautiful soul that any time, any where, any reason, that I was on high alert.

It’s a horrible, scary thing to face alone, this depression. No one should have to see it by themselves. I am SO LUCKY, to have a baby sister who will drop everything to deal with me. Most days, I don’t deserve her support.

I just want this one, beautiful soul, to know that regardless of how ugly the depression monster is, that I will be there. I’ll stand next to her. I’ll lose sleep, sanity, and everything else….. to help her. She isn’t alone. She’s protected.

 

What I wouldn’t have done to have someone tell me I wasn’t crazy.

 

xoxo

ss

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