Archive | December, 2013

Finally.. Peace

3 Dec

Ten weeks ago, I knew I would have to write this post. I knew the cancer would take my friend Marcy…. and about a month ago, it did. I’ve struggled, since then, to put my thoughts into words, because, to be honest, I’ve been really, really angry.

I was angry at God, for taking Marcy and leaving so many awful people to pollute our Earth. 

I was angry at myself for not being able to make it back to Atlanta for her memorial service.

I was angry at the people who told me she would understand why I wasn’t there.

I was just flat out, honest-to-God, no-holds-barred PISSED OFF.

About a week after she passed, I had what my Mom calls a “come to Jesus meeting” with Marcy. I laid in my bed and I sobbed and told her all the things I was angry about, and when I was all cried out, I realized that from now on, she’s always there for me. When I have a problem with no visible solution, she’s there, waiting for her chance to talk through it with me. There’s no voicemail in Heaven, and certainly no busy signal. When I need her, she’s always there. 

Does that make me sound crazy? I guess it might. But my Mom read this book about asking your spirit guides for advice and help… and as ridiculous as it sounded originally, I like it now. I mean, I don’t expect my Grandma to pay my light bill from the great beyond, but knowing that she (and Marcy, and all the other wonderful people we’ve lost along the way) is there is very… calming. 

While I wish that Marcy could be with her family this holiday season, I take comfort in knowing that she’s at peace, in a place where pain doesn’t exist and there is no disease. And when I hear the Luke Bryan song “We Rode In Trucks” on the radio, I smile, because I know she’s with me in that moment, and reminding me that while she is gone, she is not very far away at all.